I should preface this love story by saying that its date of publication is purely strategic. I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. (And the only time a boy ever asked me to be his Valentine was two weeks after I had dumped him.) Although my boyfriend and I will not celebrate the 14th of February in any way, I did want to spend a little time on my blog to celebrate our love story. Because it is a great one. All biases aside, I think we may have stumbled upon the very thing some people spend a lifetime searching for.
I wasn’t looking for love and neither was he. (Well, maybe a little, because we met on a dating site.) I was the first to ‘like’ his profile as I loved the answers he had given to the templated questions. A day later he ‘liked’ me back and asked me why The Babadook is one of my favourite movies when I hate the horror genre. A very observant opening line that confirmed my initial feelings about him. We started talking. And then didn’t stop talking. As he lived in Leeds and I lived in Edinburgh, a date was not arranged until a month later. That first date would last for 36 hours.
About two hours into our first date, I knew he was the one. (Or a one.) I had read once that you know someone is the one, when they make you heart beat slower rather than faster. And I don’t think my heart has ever pounded as slow as it did on that first date. I was so comfortable with him from the moment I met him that I just knew it would last. My boyfriend on the other hand was as nervous as it gets. His heart was definitely not calm. So I guess one racing heart and one crawling heart still make for a good match.
We spent the summer visiting each other back and forth and going on lots of dates. A few months later I moved to Leeds. (I knew before meeting my boyfriend I would move to Leeds for my Master’s Degree and simply lied about my location on said dating site.) Things ran really smoothly between us and we would often joke about how easy things were. As if we were waiting for the downfall…
But the downfall never came. I started having loads of health problems and dealt with panic attacks for the first time in my life. But it never felt like those issues encroached into our relationship, even when doubt entered my mind. We simply had a good thing going on. Of course, the butterflies and excitement wore off after a while. We now bicker from time to time. (Don’t ever let us start a conversation on the existence of the metaphysical!) But there has always been an ease about our ‘us’. A non-defensive flow of giving and receiving where we never stop figuring it out together. And I guess that is what a good love story boils down to. The ability to figure it out together.
We tell each other at least once a week how lucky we are. Because we are. We are one of the lucky ones that were able to find that thing they talk about in movies so much. (Not that real-life love is anything like in the movies, but that is another story altogether). We are good at all the things we are supposed to be good at. Communication, empathy and compromise. Not always with everyone, but most of the time with each other.
So as another Valentine’s Day passes by unnoticed in our home, I want to make a little gesture after all. A gesture of gratitude. Not only for my boyfriend and all the wonderful attributes he brings to our relationship, but also for the stars. For I know there must have been some sort of cosmic aligning of the stars for two people to come together so effortlessly and love so blissfully that life without the other person seems just plain silly.
Of course, my boyfriend would disagree with that.